I recently read something along the lines of:
Each of us is a brilliant genius when we have the right tools, and a clumsy fool with the wrong ones.
This rang so true I had to send a quick note about it.
Your child is an unstoppable genius in their own right WITH the right tools…and a struggling, procrastinating, stressed, self-doubting, overwhelmed kid without them.
But that’s not the full picture. I need to go one step further. Having the right tools is the starting place. Having the skills to use those tools is when they start to feel exponentially smarter, more confident and more self-motivated.
Your kid needs a calendar to do and feel better in school (and life). No calendar means school (and life) will always be harder and more stressful than it needs to be.
Having the calendar alone won’t move the needle though if they don’t know how to use it. If they look at it and plug in a deadline here or there, it’s next to useless. What’s worse, most students then think ‘oh well I tried it and it doesn’t work for me.’
WRONG. Tools work for you when you know how to use them. Your kid is saying no to the calendar and other tools because they don’t know how to use them. If they don’t know how to use them, they don’t see a benefit/these tools won’t make a difference in their life and they won’t want to use them (which tbh makes sense…if I’m not seeing something move the needle for me, I don’t want to use it either).
Your kid needs a calendar AND the self/time management, critical thinking and executive functioning skills to actually use it. Competencies within these skill sets include knowing
✅ when and how to choose self-imposed deadlines (beyond the teacher imposed deadline),
✅ how and why to break down assignments and tests into manageable tasks,
✅ how to scope and plan the completion of those tasks.
When your kid applies these competencies to the calendar, BOOM!
“Omg I never knew school could be this easy”
“Why don’t they teach us this in school”
“I’ve never had so much free time before”
“My Mom has completely stopped nagging me”
^ verbatim what we routinely hear when teens in our program learn how to use the calendar skillfully.
Tools + skills = growth (= just about everything you want for your kid including more confidence, self-responsibility, motivation, engagement, better grades, better mood/attitude about school and learning and so much more).
No tools, no skills? No growth (none of the above in any authentic, sustainable manner). It’s that simple.
To keeping it simple,
PS this image is good to help visualize what your kid is doing if they have tools but no/weak skills –
PPS want to give them tools and the skills to use them? Let’s talk. Click here to book in for a quick 15-minute chat to figure out 1) if we can help you and 2) if so, what exactly that would look like.
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