In our last post, we spoke about the importance of taking a step back as a parent.
This is why one of the first things we do with our families is making sure the teen is clear that Mom/Dad will step back in exchange for them stepping up.
When we share this with teens, the reaction is almost always the same. Mom/Dad will be stepping back?!
They often don’t believe us at first (‘you don’t know my Mom, she can’t not nag me about school’) but then when they see you, their parent, keeping their word and giving them space as they learn to take more and more responsibility. That’s where the magic starts to happen.
The best way to believe us is to try it out for yourself, just like Connor, 14, did. Connor came to be a big fan of stepping up. We asked him if he has advice for parents of struggling students and here’s what he said:
“I’d say if they start Komo, let them go. My mom did and it gives another booster that once they start to do this and see you’re not nagging them anymore, it motivates in a way, like ‘they’re not nagging so something must be working.’
So if you lay off them which my Mom did which helped me, gave me more confidence, like she’s trusting me more, she’s not nagging about school every minute of every day. So – lay off them and give them some confidence.”
Check out Connor’s full story here (the snippet above is at the end, time stamp 28”33).
If it’s your goal to help your kid become more self-sufficient by taking a step back, let’s talk and get crystal clear on how to make this happen. Book a call with my team here; you’ll fill us in on your situation, and we’ll let you know if and how we can help (and if not, hopefully, we can at least point you in the right direction).
To your kid stepping up,
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