If your kid
1. Learns how to use at least one tool
2. Practices that tool for a few days
They will start feeling and doing better.
There’s no hoping or wishing when it comes to the tools below. They work for every teen who uses them. Without exception.
These particular tools actually come from Katie’s story, which I shared yesterday, because she so clearly illustrates the connection between using each tool and seeing good things happen as a direct result.
(if you haven’t listened yet to Katie’s story click here, she shares so many gems you and your teen will both benefit from hearing)
Outcomes: more self-motivation, no late work, staying on top of everything
Tool: the ToE (Terms of Engagement conversation)
Outcomes: more respectful communication with Mom/Dad, feeling heard, way less fighting about school
Tools: intentional self-talk and reflection
Outcomes: far greater positivity, self-confidence, belief in yourself; less catastrophizing and beating yourself up
Each tool produces specific outcomes. What does your teen want the most?
Do they wish they could feel more self-motivated? Have you ‘off their back’? Not feel like a failure or like giving up if they get a bad grade?
Ask your teen – what do they want? If they had to pick ONE thing they can have in the next few days, what would it be? Make sure they understand they’re one decision away from having it.
Showing your kid how to create and manage their own calendar, facilitating the ToE with you and your child, guided self-talk and reflection are things we do every day with our students. If you want to step back while giving your kid the tools to enjoy feeling more motivated, more positive, more willing to communicate openly and respectfully instead of telling you to leave them alone – let’s talk. Use this link to book a call with my team so we can go over the steps of how exactly to make this happen.
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