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Jen’s son Cam always got As and Bs. He didn’t put in much effort. He got into a good college. Everything was going well until the realities of college vs. high school sunk in.
What they hadn’t realized is that Cam didn’t know how to study. He had “no sense of accountability, terrible time management skills, and an attitude where he didn’t love school…he could fake it in the beginning but it was very clear he didn’t have the foundation to succeed.”
If you’ve experienced any of the following, her story will not only remind you that you’re not alone (and the problems you’re facing are solvable!) but could illuminate choices that lead to the outcome you’re really after.
- My effort as a parent wasn’t enough.
I couldn’t tell him to just do these things – get organized, get his work in on time – I say anything and it goes in one ear and out the other.
- He thinks nothing will change.
My son didn’t express it but you could tell, he wasn’t where he wanted to be. Nobody wants to fail. Self-doubt, mad at himself, frustration…it was too much, he thought ‘it’s just not gonna get better.’ He didn’t have the tools, so it was a sense of throwing up his hands and being like ‘I just can’t do it.’
- It was always someone else’s fault.
The professor didn’t tell us this, I didn’t know about this test…there was no sense of self-accountability.
- In his mind, he’s like ‘I can catch up, just need to buckle down.’
…but it’s college. It doesn’t work like that.
- We don’t really need a tutor.
We want him to have the ability to not just get through college but to have the mindset and the resourcefulness and time management and executive functioning that will help him not just in college but throughout his career.
Check out Jen’s story in her own words here.
Happy Wednesday,
Kelsey
