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Next time your kid says they can’t do something, quote them this –
“Stop confusing inexperience with inability”
Can’t focus? Can’t get good grades? Can’t feel motivated? Can’t stop procrastinating?
All 100% possible for every child, including your son or daughter. They might not have much (or any) experience with feeling focused, getting good grades, self-motivating etc., but their ability to do all of these things improves with experience.
How do they get experience? Very simple.
- Have a basic understanding of how skills work.
- Practice a skill ( = gain experience).
- Watch your abilities grow.
Understand that though they might not have the ability to do a specific thing in this moment, they have the ability to learn skills that enable them to do and have whatever they want for themselves.
Skills are the key to understanding and developing their abilities. With a basic understanding of how skills work, and practicing their skills even at a bare minimum, they will build their abilities.
Things that seem hard or impossible right now will start to feel much easier. The thing itself doesn’t change – their level of skill in dealing with the thing does.
If it helps, pick someone successful your kid admires – a sports player, musician, whatever – do they think they were born experienced in sports, music, whatever? Or that they woke up one day magically at the top of their craft? No. They developed their abilities through practice and persistence, through intentional experience.
Or, think of something you did to the same tune. Personal example – I’m not athletic. In my early 20’s, I wasn’t what you’d call in shape. I was unable to run a 10k because I had no experience with running or with the kind of physical conditioning needed to run 10k. The more running experiences I accumulated (starting tiny with 5 minute jogs), the more able I became, and voila I’ve got a few 10k’s under my belt.
Cheers to giving your child the experiences they need to build their abilities,
Kelsey
Want to make sure your son or daughter benefits from tons of experience that builds their abilities? Let’s chat. Click here to get on our calendar for a simple but powerful conversation that will get you and your child crystal clear on how exactly to get from wishing they could focus/get good grades/feel smart/enjoy school to actually experiencing that reality.
