If you’re like most parents we talk to, you want your kid to feel smart and capable, to like school and love learning and to be able to self-motivate…and you’re having a hard time making this happen.
Here’s the thing: the changes you’re looking to see in your child won’t happen if
❌ you’re solving their problems for them
❌ you’re expecting them to do things on their own without having the tools to do so
The changes you want to see in your child happen when they learn how to learn. This happens when
✅ you step back while giving them the tools they need to stand on their own two feet
✅ you give them space and time to learn what these tools are and to practice using them on their own terms
Why is it so hard to strike this balance? For most parents, it’s because of one or all the following:
1. You’re not clear on the difference between teaching and telling vs. supporting their learning.
The former keeps you in a loop of repeatedly doing and saying the same things and wondering why the status quo persists (or maybe trying new things but still to no avail). This doesn’t work for lots of reasons, largely because it’s centered on what you’re doing and saying. The latter taps into your child’s agency and creates change because it’s about what they’re thinking and doing, their ownership over the ways in which they want to grow and change on their own terms.
2. You’re not sure how to help them learn how to learn because you never learned how to learn yourself.
What are the tools they need to stand on their own two feet and how do you teach them?
3. Your kid doesn’t want to listen if it’s coming from Mom or Dad.
Let’s say you understand the difference between teaching vs. learning, you know the tools and how to teach them. A lot of teens simply don’t want to hear it if it’s coming from Mom or Dad.
4. Your kid wants their own thing.
This ties in with #1 and #3 but it’s so important that it deserves its own category. Your child’s learning journey is theirs. It involves you, of course, but it’s not about you. That can be tough for some parents to really hear, but it’s essential. There’s no room for ego when it comes to creating the circumstances in which your child’s potential can be unleashed. I can’t tell you how many parents are shocked at how quickly their child grows and matures when they genuinely let go and give their child freedom to take their learning in the direction they want, on their terms.
If any of the above applies to you and you want expert help with giving your child the tools and space they need once and for all, let’s chat. Click here to book in with my team for 15 minutes to see if we’re a fit to work together. Right now we have a waitlist of over a month, so even if you’re thinking summertime skill-building is a good idea, better to chat sooner than later 🙂
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